haymaking

haymaking. in the style of Andrew Wyeth
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with the internet sometimes i don’t know who i am anymore
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found this really cute art trunk for kids on sale at whsmith, love it! had been looking for an art storage box for ages to keep all my drawing bits, instead of having them all over the place, never found one i liked. i’m happy now.
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something i’m working on at the moment. i feel like works look so bad when they’re halfway, sometimes i wonder why i bother showing them here, but i think i just want to show what i’m doing, and most importantly that i’m actually doing something. also, i think it helps me: sort of works like a mirror.

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painting bricks in my living room. angel [working title], work in progress, a lot to go.
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sometimes images come to me in dreams. not often, though. i don’t get enough sleep.
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my grandmother died last year. i still haven’t been able to mourn her loss. i can say, i can write, my grandmother died last year. but i can’t believe it. to me she still lives, she’s still there for when i visit, between her weeping and her jokes, her fragile hugs, my grandmother was never supposed to die. so i don’t believe it. i didn’t see her often, but it’s like, how often do you see the legs of your chair? and if they’re gone, you fall. i don’t want to fall. i have so much pain unspent. so much loss, unbearable. i’m only human. i’m only small. i don’t miss her. you don’t miss what you have.
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finally started painting again. with Diego’s easier schedule i’m allowed a few more hours a day. feels great to be ‘active’ again. my head was imploding with ideas. it was either work or give up.
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Midori Traveler's Notebook
just arrived fresh from Japan the notebook i intend to keep for the rest of my life. i’d been looking for the perfect journal for months! bought it at bundoki.com. love it. & relieved that i can now stop being a stationary geek & concentrate on more important things. like having a life to write about.
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I’ve been fascinated looking at what people have in their bags in the flickr group and decided to do a picture as well. Looking at it this way makes it all quite boring. (Click on the image to view larger plus notes.) I suppose this goes along with the current fascination with the private.
Update: it’s weird but churning out the contents of my bag for the world to see has been a miniscule version of seeing myself in a new mirror. it makes me question what i have as a reflection of what i am. i think the contents of my bag will be changing soon.
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